funny jokes?

This man took a hooker into a motel room
They exchanged money and began to have sex
When the man was having sex his penis hurt...He felt like something was clawing at him.
He stopped having sex and said, "Ouch, it's really rough in there..."
The hooker excused herself to the bathroom and a few moments later came back
They continued to have sex and it was soft and felt so good....
The man said, "Ooooh baby, that feels so good....hmmm what did you do to make your pussy feel so smooth?"
and she said

"picked the scabs off"

some 2 gay guys had an argument in a bar and they had to go outside to exchange blows

did you no they just discovered a new use for sheep in NZ..its called wool

lol.

how do u make your gf scream while having sex??
call her and tell her

lame.

One day there was a little girl and it was her birthday, but her parents had to go out for the night so they hired a babysiter and told him to let the girl do whatever she wanted to do because it was her birthday.

So when the parents left, the little girl was playing and the babysiter got tired so he said "I'm going to take a shower and the little girl said "Oh, can I take a shower with you?" and the babysiter said " Uh, O.K. Just don't look down."

When they were taking a shower the little girl dropped the shampoo and when she picked it up she saw his dick and said "What's that?"

The guy said "Um, it's a ruber ducky" and the girl says "O.K."

Then the babysiter said "I'm tired I'm going to go to sleep." and the girl says "Can I go to sleep with you?" and the guy says "Um, O.K. Just don't look under the covers."

So when they're in the bed there's a thunderstorm and the girl gets scared and hides under the covers. Then she looks at the guys dick and says "Can I play with your rubber ducky because I'm scared" and the guy says " Uh, O.K." and he falls asleep.

The next morning he looks at the bed and he sees the there is blood all over the place and he asks the little girl "What Happened" and the little girl says"The rubber ducky spit at me so I chopped it's head off."

Exzonerate wrote:

how do u make your gf scream while having sex??
call her and tell her

hahaha

wtf cdnz. thats fucked.

haha holy shit cd thats pro..

jezzix obvi didnt get the call her one ay

Dying Beaver
Little Johnny was taking a shower with his grandma.

He casually asked,"Grandma whats that?" She quickly replied, "That's my beaver". Little Johnny didnt say another word.

Two days later he was taking a shower with his mom. Little Johnny asked,"Mommy whats that?" She replied, "Well Johnny thats my beaver."

Little Johnny thought for a bit and said,"Well grandmas beaver must be dying her tongues hanging out!!"

Condom Slogans
1. Cover your stump before you hump
2. Before you attack her, wrap your whacker
3. Don't be silly, protect your willy
4. When in doubt, shroud your spout
5. Don't be a loner, cover your boner
6. You can't go wrong if you shield your dong
7. If you're not going to sack it, go home and whack it
8. If you think she's spunky, cover your monkey
9. If you slip between her thighs, be sure to condomize
10. It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter
11. She won't get sick if you wrap your dick
12. If you go into heat, package your meat
13. While you're undressing venus, dress up your penis
14. When you take off her pants and blouse, slip up your trouser mouse
15. Especially in December, gift wrap your member
16. Never, never deck her with an unwrapped pecker
17. Don't be a fool, vulcanize your tool
18. The right selection will protect your erection
19. Wrap it in foil before checking her oil
20. A crank with armor will never harm her
21. No glove, no love!

The Creation of a Pussy
Seven wise men with knowledge so fine,
created a pussy to their design.
First was a butcher,
with smart wit,
using a knife,
he gave it a slit,
Second was a carpenter,
strong and bold,
with a hammer and chisel,
he gave it a hole,
Third was a tailor,
tall and thin,
by using red velvet,
he lined it within,
Fourth was a hunter,
short and stout,
with a piece of fox fur,
he lined it without,
Fifth was a fisherman,
nasty as hell,
threw in a fish and gave it a smell,
Sixth was a preacher,
whose name was McGee,
he touched it and blessed it,
and said it could pee,
Last was a sailor,
dirty little runt,
he sucked it and fucked it,
and called it a cunt.

lol cdnz.

slogans are so corny but funny.

the other joke was good.

Three man are shipwrecked on a deserted island. Or so they think. it's not really deserted, because they meet a tribe of cannibals. The cannibals surround them, and they think they're going to die. The chief walks up, and says, "Hi. I'm Bob. You have a chance to stay alive, but you need to do exactly as I say. If you don't, we'll eat you. If you do, you'll become a part of the tribe." The men confer with each other, and decide they'd like to stay alive, even if it means becoming a cannibal.
Bob says to them, "Here's the first thing you need to do. Go around the island, and collect ten of any kind of fruit. Then come back here."
The men go around the island an collect fruit. The first man back collected ten apples. Bob then says to him, "Now, you need to stuff all 10 of those apples up your butt without making a sound. if you make a noise, we'll tear you to pieces."
The man managed to get the first two up his butt, but then he whimpered, and the cannibals tore him to pieces.
The second man came back with ten cherries. Bob told him the same thing, and be began stuffing the cherries up his butt. He got all the way to eight cherries when he busted up laughing and the cannibals tore him to shreds.
The first and second man arrived at the pearly gates and the first man asked the second, "Why did you start laughing? You were almost there!"
The second man said, "I saw our friend coming, and he had his arms full of pineapples. "

Q: What do you call two black kids in a sleeping bag?
A: Twix

Q:Why are black people so good at basketball?
A: Cos all they know is how to shoot, run and steal.

omg cd these are good.

ahha the deserted island one and the creation of the pussy <3...although i find with my gf her pussy is quite nice, def not a fish smell..just make sure the bitch has showers after a long day / sport

Q:How do you kill a dumb nggr?
A:Smash the toliet seat over his head while he is getting a drink of water.

Q:Why do white people go to black people's yard sales?
A:To get their stuff back.

haha oh thats good..oi cd whats your last name? cory ?

Exzon's Vagina smells worse than fish tbh.

Q :What do you call a boatload of niggers going over a waterfall?
A: A chocolate fountain

Q: Why do black people have white hands?
A: They were up against the wall when God spray painted them!